death drive

headfucked brain in a gutter thinking about quitting everything but also not thinking about going to sleep forever but also not nah yeah fuck that I’ve done too much to give up now before I even get what’s mine I’m gonna tear down all the walls of this house even if it means setting it on fire call the ambulance just so I can slash its tires I’ll poison my own pills flush em down the toilet and dive in after them right before I cut my wrists and bandage them up just to make a statement I’ll cut off all my hair and sleep naked in the street sprint downtown and knock on the mayor’s door give me a cop to strangle give me two cops to stab in the dick I’ll citizens arrest myself and resist myself spilling blood even if it’s my own especially if it’s my own paint the room red black out the sun ring of rings of fire I’ll fling myself into the abyss and come back some other time